A legend in his own mind, Kelley is a charming curmudgeon with a burning passion for many teeny, tiny insignifcant things that you don't care about (don't bring up Kroger's). He is a cryptozoology enthusiast who genuinely believes in Sasquatch. He's also an artist, musician and writer (check out his author page HERE) and is really good at all those things. People can't help loving him, no matter how loud he is.
Turn Ons: Monsters, high-fives, praise
Turn Offs: Burger King Original Chicken Sandwiches(tm), people who don't like him.
Interesting Tidbit: He is made of nanobots.